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Ever wonder just what it is that makes someone decide to hire you as their coach? Here is a classic article written by the founder of coaching, Thomas Leonard.
Enjoy!
Jen
The 20 Moments of Truth
Working definition: The 20 Moments of Truth are the moments at which a person:
- Chooses to use your services
- Chooses to continue to use your services, or
- Chooses to use your services again and recommends you to their friends and family,
These occur:
- When a person hears someone else praise you or your work.
- When a person likes your physical presentation (appearance, handshake, voice, smile, etc.)
- When a person is touched intellectually and emotionally by what you say.
- When a person recognizes you as a model of who or what they would like to become. (Unconditionally constructive; get that people are right; tell the truth; etc.)
- When a person experiences that you are consistently excellent technically.
- When a person knows that you care.
- When a person feels that they are safe with you.
- When a person trusts your professional credentials.
- When a person thinks they will be challenged and get what they need from you. (Specific coaching for what they presented.)
- When a person pays your fee without any conversation.
- When a person looks forward to small gifts and thoughtful messages from you.
- When a person knows that you will make it right for them, if they have a complaint.
- When a person knows that your fee is slightly above the industry standard, and feels you're worth it.
- When a person is sure that their success and well-being is your priority.
- When a person knows that you never stop growing professionally.
- When a person is asked to tell you their expectations and frustrations about the service you provide.
- When a person knows that you have designed your business around what's convenient for them.
- When a person is able to reach you effortlessly. (If you can't answer the phone in person, you have a secretary, voice mail or answering machine, cell phone or pager, AND you respond.)
- When a person can count on you to treat them as a unique individual with unique needs.
- When a person knows you will remember their kids' names and to send them a card on their birthday.
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First of all, I don't actually think you should do anything in life! Life is much more fun if you're taking action on the things you want to change. With that said, here are some pretty compelling reasons to get rid of your clutter:
- Clutter is distracting. To be really successful in life, you need to be focused. It's hard to maintain your focus when your home or office is in disarray. Literally, your attention is being pulled away visually by all the clutter. As a result, you just won't accomplish what you really need to get done in order to be a success.
- Clutter drains your energy. Let's face it, most of us feel pretty bad about our clutter. Feeling pretty bad means you are being drained of your emotional energy. Since you have a finite amount of energy, and probably a lot of fun things you'd like to be doing, you need to be pretty careful about where your energy is going.
- Clutter uses up your space. There's a really cool concept in life that says that we do better when we have reserves of the things that make our life easier. On a big picture level, the concept of reserves is talking about having lots of time, space and energy. On a smaller sale, the concept is referring to useful everyday objects like toilet paper, soup, and Cheerios. If we have too much clutter hanging around, we don't have the space for the reserves of the important things that make life easier.
- Clutter wastes your time. Anyone who has spent countless precious minutes looking for lost keys or scissors or paperwork knows how frustrating clutter can be. When you have too much stuff laying around that isn't in its permanent home, you can't find what you're looking for. And then you're late for that dream job interview, that dream date or the airplane taking you on that amazing vacation.
- Clutter cramps your social life. There's a popular saying in the clutter world that says, "I'm suffering from CHAOS - Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome!" If you have ever decided not to invite people to yor home because you are embarrassed about its cluttered condition, you are not living your life to its fullest potential -- and you might be missing out on some very memorable experiences and connections with people you care about.
Learn more about easily getting clutter free! Click here for Coach Jen's popular ebook, "Clutter Day!"
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Wish you had a stress-free life? You are not alone! While it may be unrealistic - and maybe even undesirable - to get rid of all stress (after all there is such a thing as positive stress, like the stress that comes when you're trying something for the first time) ...there's certainly a lot you can do to cut down on the unnecessary stress in your minute-by-minute life. Here are a few ideas, but feel free to come up with some of your own...
- Listen to a song. Music is a powerful mood changer. The effects are almost instantaneous. Whatever you love the most - rock, classical, pop, rap, R&B - have a few of your favorite songs easily accessible.
- Dance. Wherever you are. Stop and dance for a minute. When I'm feeling really silly, I do the "Happy Coach Dance" which basically looks a lot like the Peanuts (you know - Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Lucy, etc.) around Schroeder's piano in their Christmas special.
- Read an inspirational quote. My favorite source is http://www.quotationspage.com Helen Keller is always a good bet...
- Color something. Get out the crayons. You will instantly transport yourself back to childhood and happier times. Sniffing playdough does the same thing for me...ahhhhhhh!
- Take a really deep breath. From the diaphragm! Seriously, though, breathe all the way down into your belly. Every time someone even says the word, "breathe," I can't help but do it!
- Dig in the dirt. The earth is very grounding (no pun intended). Soil takes us back to our roots. (OK - maybe I should make one of these be, "Make up some really bad puns!)
- Light a candle. Focus on the flame for a minute. Maybe even say a quick prayer of thanks that absolutely everything in this very moment is perfect.
Enjoy!!!
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We've all been there...
We've spent countless hours getting rid of clutter, only to see it slowly creep back into our life. Could anything be more disheartening?
So what does it really take to stay clutter free? Well, there are five relatively simple steps to take. Here they are:
1. Create Systems. This sounds more complicated than it is. The good news is - you already have a set of systems that you use to manage your home or office. The problem is - they aren't very efficient. Think about it. What's your system for handling mail when it comes to your home? Do you throw it in a pile on the kitchen counter? Toss it into an in-box on a desk? Open the important stuff like bills, file them for later payment, and leave the junk mail in a pile on the counter? In any of these cases, the result is the same: mail becomes clutter! So how could you revamp that system?
Make it your policy not to even bring in the mail until you're ready to handle it completely.
Keep a recycling bag as close to the front door as possible. Toss all junk mail directly into the bag when you walk in the door. (Better yet, contact the direct marketing association and have your name removed from all direct mail lists!)
Open all bills and file them in your bill-paying file drawer. (Better yet - sign up to receive and pay all your bills electronically!) Recycle the envelops and advertisements that come with the bills. Set aside time once a week or once a month to pay bills.
Put all personal correspondence in a special folder. Set aside time once a week to respond.
It's simple enough to create efficient systems for all kinds of household obligations like grocery shopping, laundry, etc. So why is it that systems alone aren't enough? Why do we still end up with clutter? Something must be missing...Oh yes! You have to manage your systems!
2. Manage Your Systems. Maybe you've heard this saying: The system only works if you work the system!
Once you've created your efficient systems, it's all about taking daily, weekly, monthly and seasonal actions. If this sounds suspiciously like self-discipline, there's a reason! Picking things up and putting things away is certainly not the most glamorous of activities, but it's non-negotiable if your goal is to stay clutter-free.
The good news is that once you are clutter-free, it means everything left has a permanent home. So the daily and weekly de-cluttering you participate in will be easy and even rewarding. No more shuffling things around to different rooms pretending you're getting something done!
This time it's for good. You've got a system and you're following it!
3. Just say "no!" to stuff. How does new "stuff" come into your home? Maybe you love the activity of shopping and every time you do it, you buy something. Maybe you love to go to garage sales and rummage sales. The deals are irresistible, so you end up buying things that you don't really need. Maybe you have generous friends and relatives that just love to give you their stuff when they're de-cluttering!
For someone who wants to stay clutter-free, these scenarios are a nightmare! The only true solution is to just say "no" to all that stuff!
4. Buy only to replace. Does just say "no" to stuff mean you have to stop shopping forever? Absolutely not! But keep in mind the rule that when something new comes into your home, something old has got to go. You know you can only store just so much stuff. So, what stuff will it be?
5. Make choices based on your values. So, what stuff will it be? That's a great question. You have to make a choice somehow. The answer is to let your choices be based on your values.
Your personal values are reflected in what matters to you most. For instance, if one of your favorite things to do is cook, it makes sense to have the pots and pans necessary for you to work wonders in the kitchen. But if you hate to cook, what's that springform pan doing in the far reaches of your corner cabinet? And why would you say yes to dearly departed Aunt Betty's cookbook collection???
When faced with the prospect of adding a new item to your home, an easy question to ask is, "Does this relate to something I find valuable?" If the answer is yes, you're all set. But if the answer is no...well, you know what to do!
So there you have it! Five simple steps to staying clutter-free. What's your next move?
Learn more about easily getting clutter free! Click here for Coach Jen's popular ebook, "Clutter Day!" |
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In my life coaching practice, I always give clients "The Wheel of Life" assessment to work on. Basically, it asks you to rate your fulfillment on a scale of 1-10 in 8 key areas of your life: Career, Money, Health, Family and Friends, Significant Other, Personal Growth and Contribution, Fun and Recreation, and Physical Environment. The idea is that if you plot your ratings on a pie chart, you can see whether your life is in balance. This is usually a big eye-opener for everyone. But not necessarily in the ways you'd expect. Here is a different take on the usual concepts about life balance...
- Balance looks different for everyone. It depends on your values. You may want to put a great deal of emphasis on career and not be at all concerned about personal growth (that's probably not true if you're reading this, but what the heck!) The bottom line is that what you value most in life is where you will put your time and energy - and that will look really different than someone else's version of balance.
- Your balance might look really unbalanced. You may be in a window of opportunity in life that naturally creates a great imbalance. For instance, if you are launching a brand new business, you may be putting a ridiculous amount of time and energy into that area of life and not much into the others. But it makes sense - for now.
- Your idea of balance might be heavily influenced by "shoulds." Uh-Oh...are you listening to the voices in your head that belong to other people...or are you listening to your own heart?
- Lots of unfinished projects create imbalances. You may feel like you just can't take time for other areas of your life when you have so much left to finish in one or two areas. Let go of the projects or finish them and get it over with!
- Too many obligations create imbalances. Have trouble saying "No!" ??? If you want to put your focus on some new areas, you might have to back out of some previous commitments. Some folks really struggle with this, but the thing to keep in mind is that you said yes when your life looked a certain way, and now it doesn't look that way anymore. You might need to re-consider your ability to follow through on everything.
- It can take a while to create balance. If you are over-committed, you might take a while to back out of those commitments. Or, you might take a while to get really good at saying "No!" Here's something to try if you have trouble with the "N" word - instead of saying no, say you need to take a day to decide whether the commitment is something you want to take on. Take that day to really assess the opportunity as it relates to your vision or goals. A little time may be all you need to make a terrific choice.
- Or you can create balance really quickly. This is the clean-slate approach and is not for everyone. But it can be extremely powerful to disentangle yourself within a one or two week timeframe. Think about it this way: if someone you loved needed your immediate full attention for an extended period of time, you would back out of everything overnight. Maybe you, yourself, are that "someone you love" who needs your immediate full attention!
- Balance may not be a great goal. Maybe it would make more sense to focus on honoring your values or getting your needs met. Sometimes this kind of focus automatically creates balance!
- You might intentionally choose to be imbalanced. Got a big goal in mind? Perhaps you need to back-burner all other commitments to really achieve this goal.
- Balance is an attitude. Who made up the rules around balance, anyway? Loving your life right this minute, just as it is, may be the absolute perfect balance for you!
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Ever set a really big goal, get started working on it and then find yourself bored or frustrated? Take heart! It may be that the goal you set was based on something like a "should" or a "have-to." While you can often achieve these goals, it's usually with a lot of hard work and you feel exhausted and unfulfilled at the end. Here are some signs that you've set a goal based on your "wants" rather than your "shoulds."
- You feel peaceful inside. Oddly enough, if you are too excited, it might actually be adrenaline, which is an unhealthy source of energy.
- You can't wait to see what will happen next. Curiosity is one of the most compelling ways of being. When you're curious, you're open to what you don't already know, as opposed to feeling like you already know everything. Without room to explore and learn, you can feel less than inspired.
- You experience synchronicity. Weird coincidences keep popping up - you receive exactly what you need to take your next step - often from an unexpected source and without you even realizing it's what you needed!
- Other people want to help. Yep - they cooperate instead of put up obstacles to your success.
- It feels like your life has been leading you to this point. You begin to make connections as to how something that happened in the past fits perfectly with what you're trying to do now.
- You don't need motivation. Thomas Leonard (the founder of coaching) once said that if you have a clear, compelling vision then you don't need motivation. Your enthusiasm and passion will just naturally pull you forward.
- The obstacles feel more like fun challenges. You have fun being resourceful. You enjoy the opportunity to see what you can "pull off next!"
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Ever wonder why it's so hard to keep your home or office clutter-free? With a few changes to your current habits, you can see a lot of progress in a very short time. Here are the biggest reasons why you might still be living with a lot of clutter:
- Not living in the present...Living in the future (I'll need it someday) or living in the past (it was perfectly good when I bought it.)
- Not establishing your own standards - trying to live up to someone else's expectations.
- Not saying, "Toss it!" enough - being too conservative when de-cluttering.
- Not having a permanent home for things.
- Not keeping it simple - having duplicates of things.
- Not creating systems for basic everyday activities - like incoming mail, etc.
- Not keeping up with your systems once they are established.
- Not getting started de-cluttering - procrastination.
- Not continuing when the going gets tough - giving up too soon.
- Not setting aside regular de-cluttering time on a weekly or monthly basis.
Learn more about easily getting clutter free! Click here for Coach Jen's popular ebook, "Clutter Day!"
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If you've ever tried to "create" a vision, you may have been disappointed by the results. The truth is, your vision is already in place and is guiding the decisions you make in both your personal and professional life. The real goal is to capture, acknowledge, and fully articulate your vision so that your choices are made consciously. Following are seven ways you can begin to capture your vision.
- See it in pictures! Make a collage. Gather that stack of magazines you want to read and never have the time. Get scissors (try the kind that make nifty edges) and make some homemade paste. Treat yourself to a wild-colored poster board. Now, cut out words and pictures that attract you. No censoring! Build your collage, re-arrange and then paste it all down. What values are expressed? Family, home, travel, sports cultures...
- Get it in writing! Keep a daily journal. All the images in your mind make it difficult to see anything clearly much less a vision. A journal makes a great dumping ground for concerns, hopes, dreams and fears. It's the place where you can really tell the truth -- after all, that's what your vision is about. After several months, re-read what you've written and look for patterns in the longings. Your vision is reflected in themes that repeat themselves.
- Remember it! Reflect on your childhood. Who did you want to be when you grew up? What kinds of things did you want to do? What kind of life did you want to lead?
- Build it! Create your own web site. What information would you like to provide to others? What links would you provide? Your visions come gift-wrapped in the things that you want to focus on.
- Forget about it! Do something other than try to figure out your vision. Inspiration comes when you are busy driving a car, taking a shower or ironing clothes. Notice what pops into your mind and consider the relevance.
- Dream it! Pay attention to your nightly dreams. What are you busy doing? Who are you with? What problems are you trying to solve? Dreams are filled with messages concerning our needs, hopes and values. The best interpretation comes from you.
- Begin with the end! Write your epitaph. Better yet, write your whole eulogy. How are you remembered now that you're gone? What values did you express? How did you change lives? All great journeys begin with a desired destination.
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