10 Keys to Successful Negotiating
 By Catherine Walsh

Have you ever noticed that some goals are easier to achieve than others? One reason could be because another person is involved and a successful outcome becomes hinged on your ability to deal with that person.  That's called negotiating.  And increasing your skills in this area can have a broad impact on your life.  Below I have outlined "Ten Keys to Successful Negotiating" to help you on your way.  Good luck and don't forget to celebrate your success!

TEN KEYS TO SUCCESSFUL NEGOTIATING
(Negotiate:  to confer with another so as to arrive at the settlement of some matter)

Know exactly what you want.  Before sitting down to negotiate, it might be helpful to journal or write out your thoughts and the feelings surrounding them to help clarify your desired outcome. It's also a good way to prioritize what's most important to you, and what you are willing to trade in the negotiating process, if necessary.

Prepare before you begin. Time spent preparing and problem solving before you begin can go a long way toward your success. Find unique and creative solutions.  Do some brainstorming with a friend or coach.  Remember, there are 100 shades of white paint, 20l ways to do the dishes.  Don't get stuck before you get started. Prepare your responses to possible objections and have at least 3 solutions that would be acceptable to you, before beginning the discussion.

Choose your timing wisely.  It can influence your results.  Avoid negotiating when you're tired, irritated or just not feeling your best.  Take time to replenish yourself, even if it's just 15 minutes of quiet, a brisk walk to clear your head or  read something that lifts your spirit and inspires you.  In other words, take a few minutes to shift, get centered and feel positive about yourself and the outcome.

Set the stage and the expectation.  Start with a positive tone of good will.  Convey the expectation that both of you can come to an agreement. Assume everything is negotiable. If you don't ask, you'll never know.  Listen.  Negotiation is a two-way street.   Be sure to really listen to what the other person is saying.  They will usually tell you what's important to them, where they have concerns or what's getting in their way of giving you what you want.  This information can be helpful in finding a solution that serves both of you.

Learn to say NO!  Everyone needs to be able to flex this mental muscle. The more we practice it the easier it is to say.  If this doesn't come easily to you, don't despair.  It just takes practice and in the process you'll learn that the results far outweigh any short-term discomfort. Ask a friend or coach for support in the area, because sometimes NO! is the only appropriate answer.

Keep a sense of humor and don't take it personally.  Humor restores perspective and can diffuse tension.  And  when you meet resistance or conflict, try not to take the words personally.  It's usually more about the other person's agenda than about you as a person.  As the expression goes, check your ego at the door and keep your focus on the goal.

Live your values.  Be honest, keep your commitments, live with integrity. Negotiate from your core values and feel good about yourself, whatever the outcome.

Strive for a win/win.  A good idea in general, it has particular impact on long-term relationships.  So remember to be gracious in your win. You can afford to let the other person feel they made a good deal.

Give your negotiations the time and attention they deserve; the time and attention you deserve.  Surround yourself with supportive people during times of growth and change. Whether it's a raise in salary, dividing the household chores or one of the many day-to-day negotiations we all find ourselves in, it's easier, less stressful and more fun with caring people who believe in you!

** Special Coaching Offer from the Author **

If you would like to be coached in this area or want help defining your goals, I can be reached at www.CreativeLifeCoach.com.  As a student at Coach University, I am currently participating in their Millennium Offer for a month of free coaching.  If you're interested in trying this supportive and fun way to bring more into your life, while eliminating what gets in the way of your having it, I would enjoy the opportunity to work with you.  Email me at walshc@mediaone.net